Thursday, September 8, 2011

9th September 2011 Stone heart

its been awhile again~ haha~
everything is somehow fine i guess?
There hasn't been anything happening particularly?
or is it that i lost my senses to realize what's happening?
I've realise I've slowly starting to become a stone heart..
heartless? its more like there's alot of things i can't find myself to bother about anymore....
 bah bah~ as for things i wanted to do, most of them had been completed~
but somehow i still kinda empty inside...

recently i dunno there's just a feeling that I'm back to solitary life style.
most of my friends cant really be bothered about me, yes i'm starting to sound like a girl
but pfft~ who cares~ its not like u're really hearing me say this up front~ bah~
somehow during this holiday even though there were a few outings but i still feel empty and dead.
dunno why... mayb its bcoz i sprain my ankle and am unable to go jogging for awhile or is it bcoz i haven been swimming lately? haha~ excuses i guess~ its all cooking in my mind~ will have to stay strong and just chiong!
but even though i say nak chiong... i no longer can hear that roaring heart neither do i feel my boiling blood anymore... mayb its bcoz i haven been able to see her for quite sometime dy?

bah bah~ as for her~
the feeling its still there, she seems to be fine though I'm seeing this thru facebook~
probably just that i no longer feel connected to her even though we don't talk or message each other..
but the things she post seems that she has a "crush" bah~ at least that's where it lead me to la~
during these times i know i should feel crushed and down but somehow I'm just fine...
bah am i starting to be immune to pain? or have i started to grow numb to it?
i need answers, i need solutions, i need help....
very unmanly to call for help bah..
at least that's what dorcas told me, she said girls like guys that can take care of them?
and she gave me a few examples of guys being very sissy, most of the gave me a critcal hit.
knowing that I'll try to stop posting things on FB and twitter from now on bah..
it only show how childish i am..

ARGH SCREW IT LA!!! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND I'm REALLY STARTING TO LOSE MYSELF... but yet why am i still so calm and so.....heartless?

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