Monday, December 8, 2014

9th December 2014 One more time, One more chance

要再失去多少东西 才能得到宽恕
要再经历多少痛苦 才能与你重逢
One more time 季节啊 请不要变化
One more time 那嬉笑玩闹的岁月
拌嘴的时候 总是我先让步
你的任性 却让我更加迷恋
One more chance 被记忆所牵绊
One more chance 无法选择下一个目的地
一直在寻找 期待在某处看到你的身影
对面的房间 小巷深处的窗户
明知道你不可能在那里
如果能够实现愿望 我希望立即前往你的身边
再没有任何难题
不顾一切将你紧拥
假如只想找一个能驱赶寂寞的人 找谁都应该可以
但在这个就连星星都坠落夜里 我骗不了自己
One more time 季节啊 请不要变化
One more time 那嬉笑玩闹的岁月
我一直在找寻你的踪迹
在十字路口 在梦中
明知道你不可能在那里
假如能发生奇迹 我希望能马上与你相见
从新一天的清晨开始 我会说出我一直没说出口的 喜欢你
夏天的回忆在心中回旋着
霎时消失的悸动
明け方の街 桜木町で
我一直在找寻你的踪迹
在明亮的大街 那樱花街上
明知道你不可能在那里
若能实现愿望的话 我想马上飞到你身边
已经没有什么做不到的了
不顾一切将你紧拥
我一直在到处搜索你的碎片
周围的小店 或是报纸的一角
明知道你不可能在那里
假如能发生奇迹的话 我希望马能遇见你
新一天的清晨
从此的我会说出我一直没说出口的 喜欢你
我一直在寻找你的笑容
等电车时的空隙 看看铁路的拐角
明知道你不可能在那里
假如还有来生 我无论如何都要来到你身边
我已经没有了其他想要追求的东西
因为没有比你更重要的

Thursday, December 6, 2012

7th December 2012 Koda Kumi~ Moon Crying~

 

君とよく歩いた
いつもの道と私
月と歩きながら
悲しいメロディー

あんな颜をさせるつもりじゃなかったの
ただ「好き」なだけなのに
君を悲しませてしまった
あの日の涙

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 伝えきれない
溢れ出した言叶が届くなら
君を想い 歌いたいよ

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 伝えきれない
また今夜も思ったことひとつ
今も君を爱してると…

逢えばわがままばかり
ときどき言い过ぎたときも
笑って許した
大人な君で

孤独に思った君に
「気付くことが出来た」なら
「そっと手、差しのべられた」なら
「ぬくもり」も「これから」も
「ふたりで…」だった?

逢いたい気持ちは
どんなに伝えても 伝えきれない
溢れ出したまた言叶が届くなら
君を想い 歌いたいよ

あの日に戻れるのならば
これ以上何もいらない
また今夜も思ったことひとつ
今も君を爱してると…

言叶に出来ない想いを
この歌で今伝えたい
溢れ出した気持ちが届くなら
君を想い歌いたいよ

今夜も大空を見上げ
月が照らすその場所へと `
大切な人と共に歩きたい
ずっと ずっと 側に居たい

繋いだ手を離さないで…

 I am on the road
I used to walk with you
Walking beneath the moon
While singing a sad melody

I didn’t mean to put that expression on your face
Even though I loved you
I made you feel sad
And there were tears that day

I can’t tell you how much
I want to see you no matter how hard I try
If these pouring words will reach you
I want to think of you as I sing

I can’t tell you how much
I want to see you no matter how hard I try
Tonight I realized something once again
That I’m still in love with you…

When we meet I act selfishly
And sometimes I say too much
But you smile and forgive me
Because you’re an adult

I thought you were alone
If I had “realized”
If I had been able to “softly reach out my hand”
Then “warmth” and “time”
Would have been “ours” right?

I can’t tell you how much
I want to see you no matter how hard I try
If these pouring words will reach you
I want to think of you as I sing

If I could go back to that day
That would be all I needed
Tonight I realized something once again
That I’m still in love with you…

Now I want to show in this song
What I couldn’t put into words
If my overflowing emotions will reach you
I want to think of you as I sing

Tonight I want to look up at the vast sky
And walk together with my loved one
To that place where the moon shines
I want to always, always be at his side

Hold my hand and never let go…

Saturday, July 28, 2012

28th July 2012 Agonized

Its been quite awhile since my last update haha~
it only means that serious shit hasn't happened until now bah~
more like an emotional break down...
i dunno how am i able to get myself in this kinda situation over and over, it just feels so pitiful.

well i'll update everything that has happened so far.

i'll start with i've meet this gang of people which i have unknowingly placed them very dear to my heart, since last year after the SSSH event, i've been hanging out with them and somehow i really treasure them, but if its the same for them that i'm no longer sure la.
we went to muar last year during our sem break~ it was really fun staying at Grace's house and with everyone together. we even went to melaka~ really missed that time~ had lots of fun..
but i guess the fun has to come to an end bah? nothing last forever de.

And that was how i became quite attached to them, and i helped them in their next event which is TT night, and i guess that was slowly the beginning of my downfall...


 The group consist of Edwin, Jie Rou, Joyce, Moon, Eveline, Grace and Raymond which is not in this picture.

In the group i was closer to jie rou, Grace and joyce compared to the others bah, excluding edwin and raymond haha its impossible to not be close to these 2. though edwin has been drifting further and further apart mayb due to eveline's influence, oh yeah forget to mention tat edwin and eveline are dating. so their the only couple in the group, though there used to be raymond and jie rou, while the rest have their boyfriends~ Moon was dating Issac, sumone not in college and she met him in PC fair and long story la~ Joyce  was dating Wayne, sumone not in our college oso but his still studying and Grace was dating Xiao Bai sumone not in our college oso but still studying. While i have no one but myself and a broken heart at that time, hahahaha~ pitiful huh? At least tat was what used be la, until recently. Moon broke up with Issac, Joyce broke up with wayne and Grace jus broke up with Xiao bai last weeks ago.

Well this is where the story starts, i've unknowingly had a crush on Joyce, honestly I too did not know when it started but before i knew it, it was almost too late. I'll you more about Joyce, She one of the most amazing girls, that i've met other than Dorcas and Pei Xuan, while Dorcas and Pei Xuan are from rich background, well joyce is oso from a rich background too, but with a history i think, she works hard to accomplish her goals, and she is very good at savings and she takes up alot of part time job to buy herself things of her heart desires, for example she was able to save up to 6k to install bracers, ermm to me i was like wow? 6k? and her next goal is to buy a car. hahaha doesn't look to impossible right? Well i wont just define her as good bah, too general. She wears specs, has a sharp nose, rather short about 150cm, has a sweet smile and very smart. She's the type tat even though she already know the answer she will still ask the same question, for wad purpose that is for us to find out la. She's serious with her work and when she plays she is quite sporting and dun mind doing embarrassing things to make us laugh at times, but she is also very conscious of her image, and what others think about her. But honestly almost any guy would fall her bah~ haha i was not spared i guess. She isn't exactly the most quiet person around but compared to me she's quiet bah~ hahaha~

 After she broke up with wayne, i even flamed him for her which i find that what i did was very uncalled for la, soon after that grace and moon set me up and kept making jokes about us dating, it was still acceptable at 1st, and i was enjoying the moment at that time, i was very happy able to treat her well, laugh with her, tease her, joke with her and even help her with her work. i was very satisfied. there was even a chance for me to carry her, that was the best day i would credits goes to grace la hahaha~ she carried joyce 1st then she pass her to me~ at 1st i hesitated but then i thought there might not be a chance like this bah. so i held on to her~ damn i was so happy tat day i could had died happily... if only i died that day things might not have turned out like how it is now. Whatever she asked i would always do it for her no matter how tired i was, i would still put up a bold front and complete things for her... if only things were the same.
 
 Soon as things continue, grace's jokes were starting to make things turn ugly, but i wont blame her la, she's just playful and a honest girl. :) Soon i noticed that joyce was starting to ignore me and only talk to me when work is involved no longer the same treatment as before.... Damnit all... I was very despair and agonized. She would rather seek others for help sometimes and the worst thing is that she's always having fun and playing around with John, KK and Ah Geng. i wont say i'm not jealous la, but i feel very stupid la.. helping them do their things and i get ignored. thats why most of the time i would rather work alone and not listen to them playing bah.. i sucks i know but i no longer am able to hide my emotions like i used to. haiz since when did i became so weak? During the whole TT night and OO night, I felt that i've became the outsider while John, KK and Ah Geng had took my place, being replaced. i felt dirty and cheap la. But even though i told myself many times not to care and not to be bothered, i cant help it i was always thinking about her and the girls, whether were they eating ok and are they safe. silly me to worry myself like that. they no longer need me... And i was planning to just disappear after everything was over, i mean i was always left out during that period so it won't change much whether i was there or not anymore. At least that was how i was trying to lie to myself.

I just felt so depressed cause, i did not want to believe that the friendship and people i treasure so much would actually replaced me just like that. I was sad to see that yes Ernest this is how u stand in their hearts probably just normal friends to them.. it was so sad for me... i remember what dad used to tell me, don't ever let people into ur heart and the thing u hold dearest to ur heart will one day be the thing that will crush you. Yes it was happening the 2nd time. I was very sad as the person i love was giving me that kind of treatment plus the friends which i care so much for is taking me for granted?
I was thinking that hmmm maybe it was because i gave them the feeling that i would always be there so they are doing this bah.. but i soon noticed even if i gave them a cool shoulder or were to disappear they wont remember me at all. they already have new replacements and i guess i just have no value anymore. i just feel so stupid... and so pathetic... how can i be so weak? WHY AM I SO WEAK?!

maybe its because their are my weakness... my soft spot... haiz i've done it again... hurted myself... honestly there were many times i hurt myself to help them with their things but i just kept quiet, i just wanted to see their smiles bah.. or maybe was i finding a place to belong? hahahahaha~ during this period there were lots of times where i drove home late in order to fetch bah from hanging out with John and KK, during the yum cha session they will be playing with John and KK like how we used to while i jus sit there quietly.. i really wonder why am i doing this? my friends told me i should learn to say no and maybe i should really just find myself another place to belong to... and after all of this i thought of sam.. i'm starting to end up like her, mayb i would end up like her... i was afraid..

I was more like an outsider now, and just a driver at some point... but thats all i'm worth i guess..other than driving them around i guess i have no reason to be around them anymore. then i thought to myself, if only i was less emotional, and maybe emotionless this would not had happen.. i would not had hold them so dear to my heart.. i was really suffering how come the people i did so much for just treat me like this? maybe its a wake up call... i thought that, I don't need friends anymore... since everything is so fake and it doesn't last, i dont need something like this anymore. I would rather go back to the old me SOLITARY BAMBOO, where Strength and Solitude were side by side. Crushing everyone in my way. regardless of what other people think and feel. honestly i thought FUCK FEELINGS LA! I DON'T NEED FEELINGS! I ONLY NEED STRENGTH AND POWER! WHICH IS MONEY! Its lonely la but i don't care bah, i mean i care for them so much and what did i get?

even thought i said tat much and thought all that, but i can't help but to be reminded of the pair of converse shoe they bought for my birthday present last year... " A pair of shoes that will never allow me to slip of fall" it was a very surprising gift. i thought that maybe i'm just overthinking things bah..
But the i thought last time was because they only had me and edwin plus raymond, but since they've found new replacements ermm it might not be the same bah. And thought that how i'm thinking is wrong! because when u help sumone u are not suppose to expect anything in return and they were my sisters... or mayb i thought tat was it because i started to fall for joyce thats why it seems that i've betrayed our friendship... could be possible... The many times when i was driving home alone, i thought of how stupid and pathetic i was.. to find myself laughing at myself and laughing out loud until tears started to come out... how can i possibly be so weak?.... i was agonized...

From the left is Moon, Eveline, Grace and Joyce. pretty isn't she? hahaha~


Well one day, Grace did told me that they felt tat they were unconsciously ignoring me and that she felt bad.. i was shocked when she said that i meant it was like my deepest thought and how come she knows it? She continued to tell me that moon said tat i was irreplaceable. i was happy to hear that for awhile la but then i thought words are cheap after all, they can say all they want but things doesn't really seem that way doesn't it? Or maybe i was more despressed about joyce bah...
Caused i was a few days before this when i was at home trying my best to not sms or text joyce, i was thinking about her almost all time. until suddenly she sms me. she asked me wad i was doing?

i write the conversation here bah
Joyce: what are you doing?
me: sitting in front of the computer.
Joyce: can i ask you something?
Me: go ahead
Joyce: Do you like me?
*note: i was stunned when she said that*
Me; yes
Joyce: what type of like?
Me: its hard for me to explain can i call you or talk to you face to face?
Joyce: I'm at a dinner, so no.. if want to call then u'll need to wait for me to go home 1st.
Me: Ok i'll wait.

I waited for 2 hours and i was actually on my way to her house i wanted to tell her face to face, though i know wad i did was uncalled for la. but i thought it would be better. to find that she texted me saying she was tired and ask me to type out my feelings if i can else tomorrow only call her..
damn i was devasted totally devasted... she really dint cared at all she just want settle things and make thigns clear i guess.
So i took a U-turn and went home, and waited for the next morning, i knew she was gonna reject me no matter what i say, i even though of just sayign that it was a joke that i like her. but i thought what the heck la just be honest for once. then i called her, she said she liked it more when we were friends.
haiz heart broken.... damn it all... seems like i will never be able to love sumone with all my heart.
i mean the person that i really really like and love, just doesn't give a shit and people will never love me like how i love them... what am i saying? haiz I WAS NOT BUILDED FOR LOVE AT ALL!!!
 LOVE WAS NEVER SUPPOSE TO BE SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD ONTO!  

I really wish that my feelings one day will be able to reach them... I really love you all, and cherish u all but it really hurts me that i'm not of that same value... hmmm maybe i shouldn't actually care for them so much to begin with bah... made me really cheap. but honestly i dun mind being cheap, but it hurts alot that i was not appreciated and everything i had done up till so far seems so vain...

I really want to tell Joyce, how much her laughter and smile means to me.. I really want t ogive you my all... all i need was a chance from her bah? but she once told me that "机会是自己争取的!“ so its no excuse at all bah...

i'll update more tomorrow~ i'm feeling sleepy now.. continue tomorrow bah! with PART 2

Thursday, October 6, 2011

7th October 2011 Melt!

if i were to say I'm very busy recently i would be lying,
if i were to say I'm damn free its also another lie bah~
its been kinda tiring for me lately, was busy with the long report which requires my groups to write about 2k words de report. The training that i have with Edwin to prepare ourselves for the 21km run this 15th October and the Business team for our event..
ain't a walk in a park huh? what to i expect wei~ if it was that easy then this world would start to lose its colors~

The 21km run I'm really looking forward to it! its another journey to conquer myself,
it really isn't much of a achievement compared to other, i realize how pathetic i am for all my achievement in the past are like filthy rags compare to others, like Dorcas and Matthew both of the are just to awesome =3=
at least they achieve something worth bragging about yet they dun really brag about it, yet i myself achieved nothing but shit in my high school, therefore I'm trying to chase up if possible step by step bah.

About a week ago i had this really sharp pain on my right chest, as though there's a pole stuck right through my chest, the 1st day i was still quite ok, trying my best to act normally, despite the pain. the 2nd day was as though there was this giant invisible clamp clamping my right chest! the pain was so painful i couldn't even walk properly and i was having breathing difficulties, i really struggle even to get to college and at times the thought "is this the end of the line for me?" crossed my mind. i cant possibly tell my parents about this coz they'll blame my work and this event for it, so I'll just have to deal with it, The worst thing was that day i had a meeting with crew! and yes she was there! i cant possibly show her the weaken side of me bah! i was trying my very best to act the way i normally do during a meeting and coughing at the most minimum. ugh~ after that i was feeling quite ok after a few days~ was feeling even better after a 11km run with Edwin~ damn tat really hit the spot~ though the it was very painful when i run and a few times i nearly crashed into the road but i managed to pull through! thank God!

The business team is really tiring waiting and waiting and going hunting almost 2 times a week, having to send mails and make calls, well i asked for it~ haha dun worry I'm having fun keeping myself busy as i must do my best to help this event! OSU!

Right after meeting today, i had dinner with Sam, Simon and Raymond~ we went to ampang Korean town~ the food was awesome~ the price still considerable la~ went and bought myself a packet of melons sweets~ which are very awesome too mind you I'm very crazy about melon favoured food!~ one thing i find it every funny is that almost the whole swc knows that I'm chasing her, damn where do they get their info from? though i cant blame them almost anyone who talk to wesha about me would know it bah =3= ugh though Raymond and Sam can really keep it to themselves~ i don't mind but then its her that cause me to mind bah! coz from my point of view is that "i like this special someone and I'm not afraid to let the world know it!" but for her it maybe that "Damn this loser likes me and if the world were to know about it who knows what it'll do to my reputation?" haha~ they were drank soju while as who i am i dun drink at all~ yes boring guy but hey! i dun care its in my policy that i dun drink despite the condition and situation~ mind u have damn lot of funny policy which i will not break under any circumstances. haha~ maybe that's one of the thing that make me a boring guy mah? ugh~ i believe the world has alot more things to do other than drinking, smoking, clubbing and blah blah~ to get drunk is a way of escaping the truth for just that  few hours and you'll be facing it again after that so whats the point? though i know that most of my friends drink for fun~ but hey! i can be fun even without drinking~ haha~ anyway the Korean restaurant  was nice~ maybe I'll bring her there one day? will continue to dream about it until the chance come bah...

Actually i wanted to ask her to join us for dinner de, but then before i could end my meeting with the juniors and business team, she went home with lemon, and yes got teased by Raymond and lemon =3= ugh~ as if she doesn't understand pulak~ haha~ anyway the chance just slip pass me again haiz~ wait for another chance bah~

Right after dinner on our way back to college after sending Simon home~ while i drove near the hostel gate to drop Sam and Raymond~ hor hor!!! something really unexpected happened! a wira suddenly came from behind and park right in fornt of my car~ and the back door of the wira opened! and a head suddenly popped out! At 1st i thought it was her! but den i thought nahhh impossible la i must be thinking of her too much~ i asked Sam and Raymond again who was it? Sam and Raymond confirm it was her! i literally jumped out of my seat! she was smiling and waving! SOOO CUTEEEE!!!! my goodness my heart instantly melted on the spot~ though i wasn't sure at all who she was smiling at, as u know my eyesight aren't as good as they used to be. most probably she was smiling to Sam bah~ but dun care la! its like for the 1st time she acknowledge my existence after everything that happened bah? during meetings she'll usually be doing her stuff on her lappy and smiling at some point in front of her lappy  which makes me very curious what she's reading or watching~ and she'll try her utters most best to not look my way despite me talking the loudest~ its understandable though why she's doing it la~ but it hurts it really hurts. But for awhile just now! its as if she acknowledge my existence! lol! i really sound stupid, really stupid! but i cant help it bah~ i really felt that way~ and for the whole journey back home i cant stop myself from smiling wei! overkill! really melted~ haha~ this will be the fuel to keep me going to do my best bah! it was really really unexpected and it really made my day~ haha~

really wanna tell her hwo i feel about her~ but ermm she doesn't like chessy messages bah~ so might as well drop it bah~ haha~

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

26th September 2011 Oh time~

I've started college~ as usually everyone slacking coz its the 1st week~ though i told myself not to slack this sem and should pick up as much as possible~
in this sem i have 6 subjects while she have about 4 subjects including one full partical~ jia you bah! would help in anyway i can!
this week was kinda different from the previous college weeks i had~ had a squash session with wendi and her on Monday~ though i dint really played with her but got to see and talked a bit, seriously just a bit only~ but was good enough to make my day :P

Monday:
 Have to stand strong for the coming year, for there will be no more breaks for me.

When i saw her on Monday she dint tie her hair, was let down very neat and looks very straight~ she dye-ed her hair merun red~ haha~ dint know whether is it a coincident that i actually was planning to dye that color too~ soon la~ but since she did, mayb i'll go for copper red as dorcas suggested bah~ anyway she was dressed in her common clothes bah~ a slightly less fitting shirt, shorts and her nikes shoes~ doesn't look very sports wear though but i guess its just her style bah~ that's one of the things i like about her,very simple yet so pretty~ anyway she's not very into sports de type lai de~ while that day i was dressed up like a cow =3= with my black and white pants and shirt~ and i wore a hairband... ugh sarky! but i did coz was playing squash bah.. anyway i got nothing to hide la i think~ after squash i went straight for swimming~ though i thought could have lunch with them de but they ate 1st b4 they replied me so its ok bah~ my bad for not asking them directly~ could be kinda awkward though~ haha~was very worried whether she had an umbrella with her or not though, coz the weather this month was kinda rainy and hot at times! for me i'm ok coz i got the solution how to deal with this kinda weather so it doesn't really affect me but as for them this weather can really bring sickness and illness. now if she would to get sick that would be bad right? haha~ anyway they had an umbrella bah~ later in the evening went jogging with edwin, we jogged 3km in the gym and about 8 km outside the gym, still unable to reach our targetted speed yet!

Tuesday:
 Gotta keep on running and keep on training until i reach that speed

had a meeting with the thriller crew! though I'm the only SOT guy there and yes she wasn't there~ at 1st i thought she settled everything and ciao dy coz i went in late due to my classes~ had a meeting and brief the juniors wad to do, though i myself am not very sure of what I'm doing at times but I'm trying to get them to have an idea of what we'll dealing with and what to expect. i told them that " the business team is the bone of the event, we're important and if we dun do our job properly, others cant do their jobs properly too! but as the bone of the event people will onli see the flesh, so be prepared too be invisible and dun complain." coz alot of people have the wrong idea of getting popular by being in the business team~ yes catchy name but we really need to get the job done de! bah mayb its because i'm the type that doesn't really stand out so this job is kinda perfect for me la~ haha~ i dun mind the credit being given to others, as long as they dun step on my tail~ After that eveline, wesha and I went to pavilion to chill~ ate snowflake, mochi and macaron! the peach mochi was very AWESOME! wonder whether she likes it or not? hmm~ mayb one day i da bao for her bah~ around 3pm had a meeting with the SAD members! wow the bullets flew all at sam and me, we tried our best to block most of them! event was approved but just need to change the name only! haha~
the SAD members kept telling us about ghost and spirits ugh! as if i believe? i only just listen only la~ i cant be bothered about these things coz I've know the truth behind all of these~ so why bother? haha~
THAT NIGHT! SHE FB PM-ED ME!!!!!! i jumped out from my seat, shocked! she wanted to ask about the cupcakes we saw in desa park city, i offered her a ride! and yes she said YES!!!! i went to sleep happily that night~ :P there were a few point of view about this situation. but i dint really bother bah. i jus happy she said yes! haha~

Wednesday:

I went out with raymond, wesha and Sam to meet up with chun kit, and jonny~ we went its all because wesha wanted to tried the gongcha! haha~ wonder whether did "she" tried gongcha b4? if i have the chance maybe i could bring her here to try? but after thinking the gardens is so near her house la! dunno la IF is a good word! haha~ Was seriously laughing all the way to the gardens and back la~ really fun to hang out with these guys~ :D had gongcha oso~ though they kept giving me their left over milk green tea to drink until i was so full! haha~ nice though~ while going out with them i really wish she was with us.. maybe its because we dint invite her? we did try to call her a few times, bah dint pick up neither did she sms to ask wads up... cant be  help bah aku face problem haha~

Thursday:
The faithful day arrives! Its the day where i'm suppose to go to desa park city with her~ ironic isn't it? the 1st time i went out alone with her was to desa park city~ haha~ she might not remember it but its important tome at least. Anyway the 1st thing in the morning i asked her where to meet~ and to my surprised wendi was coming along too~ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no longer just us alone dy like this~ haha~ understandable la~ but its good oso la~ i scared i jammed and there is a silent period jiu not good lor, at least with wendi she wont feel so awkward oso bah i think? and i have the chance to understand the conversation she's interested in or the type of conversation that can interest her~

I brought them to kepong McD for lunch~ though i wanted to bring them to other place but then the nice dining areas dun open until 6pm so i wasn't given much choice.. de pastry was one of the choice but then they dint wan to eat so no point bringing them there, it'll show them tat I'm the rich type and always eat expensive areas which i am seriously not rich at all. bah just a precaution only la~ when we reach McD i was still very quiet i dint know how to blend in seriously... my mind was overheating trying to figure out sumthing to say and a topic to talk bah... panic-ed gao gao! i should had treated them to the french fries but!!!! ZZZZ lost the chance =3= and on my way up the stairs hor hor! my steady brother appeared in front of me! LYN LYN APPEARED!!!! DAMN I WAS SO HAPPY I SAW HIM THERE! AT LEAST HE COULD GIVE ME SOME POINTERS!!! and yes he did! damn i was just so happy at least sumone i knew was there to help me un-panic~

After tat we went to desa park city~ ugh tat period was the best i think? i was very focus on the business stuff so act freaking smooth wei! lol though i notice most of the time when I'm talking to her face to face, i was daydreaming =3= she just look SO CUTE!!! and her eyes were so captivating, my mind really went blank literally... her hair was literally glowing under the sun looks nice on her, though she has little bit of pimple on he forehead but she's still so cute! just completely blew me away~ after that i notice i was unusually quiet again =3= sad i just dunno why so diam... ugh! i'll really need to slap myself hard if this happens again.

On the way back to college was the worst was REALLY REALLY DISAPPOINTED OF MYSELF!!! there was a few minutes of silence in the car, was guessing wendi was also tired bah... i had no choice but to use the last resort i prepared for safety measures, was to use the music. I prepared a number of songs that she likes~ wasn't easy though =3= spent almost the whole Tuesday and Wednesday night to come out withthe list.yes i was very desperate to kill the silent in the car. i drove as fast as i could to shorter the silent period, though i usually dun drive like this and was speeding at sum parts... haiz fail la aku.. i'm sure she wont be happy to know it too? coz i wasn't acting like myself which she doesn't like i think...

Was really really really disappointed with myself la, so hard baru i dapat this chance again... den i acted like this pulak haiz~ and there were a few times i knew she was trying her best to break the ice too.. she asked about my results too~ ARGHGHGGHGH NOOB LA YOU ERNEST!!! i wrote on facebook
"facepalm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and it triggered a
just dont show f.face to me, and behave yourself as you should, and you knw. i believe.
Ouch dei! seriously ouch!!!! though i think i really deserve it de lor... for being such an asshole! Later that night, after i slept and woke up, she posted saying she wants to cry and sum other thing in Japanese which i dint really understand.. i quickly pm-ed and her called her! lol to my amaze she answered for the 1st time this few months! coz previously i tried to call her but no answer~ but i think she picked up is because she forget to turn it in silent mode bah~ good for me though! haha~ but she said she was ok la, i seriously doubt it.. she dint really wan to share it so i'm guessing its sumthing very private? bah bah~ anyway there's her crush de things to consider oso... i dint really want to think about it, coz to know that she has a crush was a huge blow to me dy and if i were to think more I'm heading back to my emo state which i dun wan to! but there's just how i left things so far bah... would really like to help her in the F&B side, and the only way i can help to relax abit is to find more sponsors so that she can have a bigger budget, so less work for her!
So i must do my best to hunt sponsors, for her sake and the event sake bah..

Friday

was just another normal Friday bah~ though i went for swim with Edwin in the morning :D, though i know she'll be going to the Arthur's day thingy~ hope she had fun bah~

Saturday
Went sponsor hunting with sam and wesha, went alot of places and alot costumes to see wei~ most of them looks very simple and can be handmade seriously! met 2 SAD officers too~ they were looking for costumes for the mid Autumn festival~ haha~ once again had a awesome day out with them la~ so brother la! and i dicovered a pet known as marimo ball which looks very simple yet nice leh! its basically a ball of algea but looks nice leh~ and not cheap oso coz its rare rm60 for about 7cm radius =3= ouch nyeh!




As thing are looking, as usual just give it my all bah, i running out of time.. will have to push myself through the break through point, until that day comes i'll just have to proceed with the things i'm facing now, just dun regret for not doing anything.. RUN! haha~ ironic isn't i told my friend to stop running and here i am trying to take on the world alone.. bah~ i dun have time anymore... wil just have to DEAL with it! OSU!







Saturday, September 17, 2011

17th September 2011 Gunung Datuk!

Its almost the end of my sem break though can consider the end dy bah~
finished up almost everything i wanted to do dy~

Recently i went hiking with Edwin and bor lih~
We climbed Gunung Datuk which is located at seremban near rembau~
had a very awesome trip seriously~ i really enjoyed myself~
the sense of adventure was really there :D

On the 14th september, evening i went to edwin's place to over night, coz we plan to move out around 5am in the morning~ so must wake up around 4am~ had an awesome night at his place~ went out iwth him and lee jin to sunway~ both of them stay at klang wei~ haha~ went to sunway pyramid wanted to try out the famous chatime dorcas told me so much about~ and yes tried it~ ermm its nice la but not addictive to me~  wanted to meet up with dorcas at sunway de coz her class ends about 9.30pm that night~ but i left the place early for CC session with the doods so dint meet up with her bah~ haha~

we spend 2 hours plus gaming~ haha~ all of us so rusty dy we even lose to the Ai wei~
anyhow after that we went back and prepare for the trip~ got the cordinates for my gps to lead the way~
and pack up everything~ we rest about 2am but thx to the chatime it kept us awake almost the whole night~
woke up at 4am to bath and we went to McD to da bao breakfast~ i taste great in the car while edwin was showing off his driving skills :P tried to consume coffee for a change~ i added 4 packets of creamer and 3 packets of sugar but the taste still sucks to me =3= damn mayb coffee and i really cant get along bah~ i tried to love it but my love failed~ mayb i wasn't drinking it right?

we pick bor lih up around 5am and we were on our way~ stop at another McD for bor lih to get his breakfast~
And after we continue our journey~ to find that the gps cordinates that i've found online turns out to be fake =3= hor we were in deep deep shit tat time could say we were lost in sumwher between kl and seremban~
but thx to the technology of iphone 4~ we found a new route and took us about 3 hours drive b4 we reach the mountain foot~ damn we were so excited~ 3 of us prepared lolipop to suck our way up! :D
as we began our journey up the mountain~ the mountain route was so steep about 65 degrees wei~
and the leeches were so aggressive as if they saw 3 walking buffets wei~

half way up both me and edwin were at our limit mayb due to the lolipop and the altitude~ there were times i feel like turning back but we dint la we just push on! after awhile we were alright and charging upwards~ haha~ took us about 2hours to reach the peak~ the peak was seriously awesome its so spacous can fit about 30 ppl to camp~ and the other side for side seeing was fantastic! though abit dangerous but we cant be bothered at all~ we were too happy and were taking pictures for about 1 hours~ we finished our drinks and started to head downwards~

As we climb up the same road we took to the foot of the hill~ scary wei~ coz very steep and the leeches are jus too aggressive~ they got bor lih~ suck him up nicely though he dint really care but for me~ ugh i jus dun wanna try it :D~ took us about 1 hour to reach the foot of the hill~ coz we dint stop at all~ to come down was not tiring jus straining onli~

All in all its very interesting trip the best thing is there were to one other than us~ so the adventuring feel was really there~ :D












there's suppose to be more photo but its with edwin~ i'll upload it when i have bah~ ciaosu!

Friday, September 9, 2011

10th September 2011 Hazy


What is it that I left behind
Just before I started dreaming?
Though I don’t want to forget,
Sometimes, suddenly, in a corner of my memories,
A gently blurred sepia color floats up.
On the other side of these days in front of my eyes, little by little, it moves further away.

Why am I running
Until I’m out of breath, anyway?

So afraid of standing in place that I sped up,
I felt my quickening heartbeat to make sure that I’m really here.
If you listen carefully for that little voice deep inside your heart,
The world that surrounds you will clear up and spread to tomorrow.

Drawing closer, then going a little further away,
Waving to the people I’ve met,
I become honest on this road I feel I’ve traveled before.
Laughing faces and crying faces -
Look, if you add them together, it’s lovely.
There are always unchanging things within yourself.

As the sun shines on your face after you cried,
Are you gradually learning love?
Let’s focus our eyes on the future
That was unclear and so far away.

When the wind sweeps over my cheeks and sings its song around my ears,
I take it into my strongly resounding heartbeat and move closer to the sky.
I’m carried by a light bounce in my step,
And I continue to a story no one has seen yet.