Sunday, December 27, 2009

A new beginning? The storm is coming..

Its already at the end of the year
everything was over in a blink of an eye
Spm, my school life, melaka holiday and my annual dinner
what value does my exprience holds?

Until now, the thing tat is in my mind is tat school will no longer be contactable
even if they are contactable it will not be like before
Therefore I will learn to live a solitary life again
To lead on others, other than my brothers in christ
I shall swallow everything myself.
I've lead on others before and it wasn't a wonderful feeling when they decide you are no longer useful.
Solitary life style is the best i do what i want And decide for myself
I'm leaving the past in the year.. I shall die this year
The new year I myself shall be new

What next year will be installed for me?
collage mayb?
but the storm is coming~
I hope ns wonder be a pain in the ass.
Collage would likely help me to cancel out NS
Hope so.. What has become of me?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Sad story

There was a boy
ever since his failure of his 2nd love life
he made a vow to himself not to after in love until he finish his study
but he met a girl
A very bright girl, which was very playful,
she wasn't the most beautiful person in school but,
she was a very fun person and everyone like her.
And without knowing he started to like her.
But in order to keep to his promise
he force himself to go throug hell, to hide his feelings
And there were time where a chance was given to him
but bcoz of his promise to himself, he gave up the chance
which really was torturing himself.
But all he could do was to suffer in slience.
Some ppl knows tat he like her but he denies it all bcoz of the vow
And there were time he had to look into her eyes and lie..
its wasn't fun at all, it was a very painful exprience.
Yet he hide every thing from even his closest friend.
There was no one from him to tell,
His heart had 2 wolves
one black and one white.
in order to keep to his vow he refuse to feed the black wolf
But he kept feeding the white wolf and always look to the white wolf
for comfort.
He kept on living like tis, until one his best friend told him tat he was dating her
His heart was smashed to pieces. Its wasn't her fault and wasn't his friend's fault
it was his own to be blame.. he was like biting himself.. juz bcoz of tat vow.
Was tat vow worth keeping? he never felt tat depress b4..
the most painful part was when the girl came to him for help in her relationship wif his best friend. He had no choice but to put on a mask, to hide his pitiful and ugly face away.
no one knows the agony tat he was facing. Everytime he hears her voice his heart melt.
And he wasn't able to refuse any request tat she ask of him. Silly huh?
until one day when she broke up wif his best friend..
The boy was happy at sum point yet sad for the girl tat she had to suffer a heartache
He tried his best to comfort her and help her clear her mind.
Unknowingly he started to like the girl more..
During tat time more chances were given to him but It wasn't taken by him bcoz of the vow
How he hoped tat he dint made tat vow..
Until when his studies were over. He was happy tat he kept his vow
And he was hoping tat she would be still there..
When he Pumped Up all his Valor to tell her how much he like her
But of no valid. He wasn't good and expressing himself
And she said she only had a little feelings for him..
And she oso said tat the time wasn't rite.
She would be leaving for her continuation of her studies out station
in another 3 months time. The boy was deeply hurt but he tried his best to be by her side as long as possible.. but he din't know tat wad was there waiting for him was pain, agony and despair.
He was really lost when he saw the quality of her friends.
he was in no position to fight her friends even though he knew tat they already had girl friends
But they juz kept hanging onto her like glue, he understand as they were very close to her and had spent 5 years studing together therefore he tired his best.
He was a nobody..he could not even let her ride on his bike as he was too weak to balance both of them, compared to her friends which did a better job than him, it was agony tat strike him contiunously but he couldn't let her not tat he was suffering all he hoped was tat he would be able to help her at anything but he had nothing to offer her.
she gave more attention to her friends; of coz since he had nth to offer her.
All He had was a rubber bracelet.
He tried to offer it to her b4 he departed but he was rejected..
Common sense who would wan a rubber bracelet compare to sumthing of much higher value
like handphone or gold bracelet. he doesn't have tat money..
He really regreted feeding the white wolf so much, But it was at the climax tat the black wolf started to hate the white wolf out of jealousy....
The boy was eaten by jealousy not matter how he tried to fight the insanity of jealousy
He was lost in the shadows of the black wolf as the white wolf was completely eaten by the black wolf. he thought of ways how to express to her for the very last time.
Chance wasn't given.. Wad he had was juz memories of his painful past.
He tried to avoid the girl as much as he could but when ever he hear her voice his heart stopped
Its was like the white wolf was still alive and it was the white wolf's heart beat tat was telling him to fight jealousy. Whenever he saw her smile his heart raced but there was nth he could do.
Until the end he sat quietly at a dark corner hiding his face away from her and whistling a painful song, hoping tat there would be a chance again for his revival.
But the girl already forgotten about him as he was a nobody...
All he had were scars of the past... how he wished tat he dint made tat vow.
So Should we be keeping our promises?
Or should we not keep them?
If we keep them ur words and trustful and it holds value but may end up like tis boy
If we don't keep our promise ur words are untrustful and it holds no value to the ppl listening it
But we may not end up like tis boy.
And he might had a much better ending...
I will kill jealousy and I will kill lust once and for all..

I'm back

Its been awhile since i last updated
anyway here's a update
i juz came back from malacca
Awesome trip wif the guys
My whole back was burned
its was a 3days 2 nights trip~
both awesome in fun and teachings
I've not had so much fun b4~
thx guys~

During this trip i've saw sum true colours of ppl
And how Lust can control sum1 so deeply
kinda disgusted at time
But oso abit pissed off
But i'm not the type of guy to slap ppl in the face
So i'll juz hide in my own later corner and take it out myself later

During tis trip i've oso notice tat there is another definition of pain
one wont know until one goes through it
every now and then arrow were hitting me
i really feel like i was shot
I cant really help it though I told myself to kill jealousy
But it always won.. Tats why i'm so weak
A mere nobody can never fight against a Champion
And last time i used to think tat i'm kinda strong
but in fact, wad do i have?
wad do i have tat others dont hav?
I lost bcoz i dun hav money, i lack the knowledge
i lack wisdom..

A nobody should not expect anything..
A nobody has no rights..
All i can do through out tis whole journey was to try my best to smile infront of...
To put on a mask..
Through out the whole journey i had totally forgotten the wind tat i used to love so much..
Have i start to return to the old self?
To love blaze more than the wind?
Haha an untasteful joke..

I'm so sorry

Monday, August 3, 2009

Deneb, Altair, and Vega

There’re “Deneb,” “Altair,” and “Vega”
That's the Summer triangle you pointed at
I remember that when I look up at the sky
I finally found Vega
But where are you, Altair?
You'll be alone like this
From the pitch black world, I looked up
Stars are falling in the night sky
I wonder how long
I’ve been here, but chasing you
Please, try not to be surprised
Listen to
these feelings of mine ~

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Have been busy lately so wasn't quite able to update
One of the best things were tat i was able to serve for a wedding~
Was a fun experience.

I started the day by fetching a few of my friends for breakfast
Breakfast at McD was ermm slightly expensive
anyway was aonce in awhile so i dun mind paying for it
We spend sum time talking ther til it was about time for us to leave

By then we drove to the wedding and started to help arranging the tables and chairs
Was fun doing it wif everyone~
And soon after we finish up was lunch time~ xD
We ate 1st coz we'll be serving~
The food was nice~

As soon as we know it the guests arrived~
And we'll hav to serve them~
One thing i notice about the guests
Church members are much more polite and well mannered
compared to the outsiders which simply put the dirty dishes and take things for gratted
And worse of all there is this one little kid which manage to annoy me
All the balloons tat was blown up and decorated around the area was taken down by him
and he bursted it causing a loud noise its very disrespectful as there were elders ther

After serving i went straight to tuition
was smelly~ i know = =
but cant help it~ was doing add maths questions from 6 to 8
And reach home as soon as i can~

But thruogh the whole day
i felt tat are ppl tat does not like ppl joining their group even though the others dun mind
And it was him tat let out an aura of rejection and hatred
Which of coz ignite my angry but was control by a gentle wind~
Even though he can do hateful things but i hope some day it'll be my turn~

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Every year the 1st 3 classes will be given a page on the skul's mag~
So to say my class is getting a page for the skul's mag tis year~
We're planning to fill that page wif our photos~ or to say our memories~
And since every year the same kind of photo will be put on it~
i thought mayb we'll try sumthing different tis year~
juz to make it special and different for the other years and classes~
So one day while i was lying on my bed i thought of an idea~
About taking our photo in a formation~ xD
And i discussed it wil ham jie the next day and moved on the the different groups in class
And thx god everyone agreed~
even the teacher~

On the day itself we're were lacking guys therefore our 5 suck hard = =
while the girls did a good job on their S~ xD
its a S not ass = =
And the next problem was wif the camera man chee wing
he'll count from 1 to 3 but he nvr tell us whether he took di or not
Anyhow it was fun taking the pictures~
And the best part my plan worked xD

Can you spot me?

Sunday, July 5, 2009


The sky that I looked at up for a bit; the ordinary days that were too good to be true
Every time when I turn my back, you only mutter
Where should I go? With you, who has such a face

The shadows in the back of the alley; the needle of the clock
Repaints the stopped time

My hands that reached out; I had abandoned
The puzzle that won’t interlock together until we meet
It’s something lost; recovering
The last piece

The memory of the faraway day that I forgot about some other time
If I stacked it on the corner of my heart
There’d only be nostalgic sceneries and catchphrases during that while

As if confused, I turn my eyes downwards
Please don’t stand still, chase me

The words that we exchanged can’t form shapes
But my irritating feelings convey my thoughts
Lining up my shoulders with the pouring rainIn this way

When it comes to the direction of the wind, you know it; it’s a new beginning

My hands that reached out; I had abandoned
The puzzle that won’t interlock together until we meetIt’s something lost; let’s recover
The last piece and start walking


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Time to update~

Its been awhile~
was planning to update after getting all the picture taken during the camp in taman negara
well i cant wait for it anymore~
too much xD

Had a wonderful exprience in camp
although i went wif a injured knee
But it was fun~
Would be better if the teacher are much more spoting
compared to the fat zulaili showin off her small gasness
and spoil our mood and atmosphere

After the camp was sum unexpected things tat took the whole skul to shock~

And After tat was Canteen Day~

was planning to open a store

but after hearing i'll nid to pay rm150 to rent a space

and i'll nid to pay 70% profit to the skul

I quited = =

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Changing Wind..

The mid term june holiday is coming to and end
And was silly of me to think tat everything would stay the way i was
yes things will remain unchanged for u but not the rest..
knowing this yet i still hope that i won't not change until the end of the year..

I knew tat things changed was when i met again with the wind
spreading the news of the rain that had change slow along with the others
and yes i was left behind once again..

This had me wondering after hearing the event that occur
what was i to them?
just a stone to step on i guess..
like once the Mountain did said never trust anyone other that yourself
which means dun have so many close friends
yet i dint take the advise
and look at myself now just another stone by the walk way

Looking at the way things move
i think its not to long till we're reach the cross road.
what will happen then?

The knifes that was hidden shall be shown,
Yet, no tears shall be sheard.

Withstood pain to create many laughter,
Yet, these hands shall hold nothing.

As the music play all shall gather,
Yet, there is a odd number.

Unknown to fame, nor known to shame...

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Jux another Random post~ xD

Monday, June 1, 2009

The way the wind blow

Had a great day yesterday
due to the 1u trip and futsal
was fun~
though i did went abit over board
by saying tat we're at mid valley and not 1u
coz the info i got was tat they were walking INSIDE 1u
and not in the parkin
so i said tat we're in midvalley
In fact they were in their car
and after hearing tehy left the parking and paid for the ticket = =
Nvr expected their reaction to be soooooo quick~
anyhow when i told them tat i was juz joking they got pissed (was expecting tat)
who won't be? = =
And yes when we met the flaming was expected
BUT not the pushing i mean flame means flame la wads wif the push here push ther?
but still tahan~ got ppl lookin~ dun wanna get mad over small things~
and so~ tat was the best part of the day~
After the futsal match
when i reach home and went online
to see tat i was written in their blog~
oo~ how sweet~
was about the prank i did~
lol giv a break la pussy over is over la wad u still wan me to do?
lick ur feet? i rather run u over wif my car if u ask for tat much
and in his blog was threaten by him saying wanted to kick my ass in public
i mean in 1u?
kick my ass?
u sure?
o wau~ go on tough guy~
juz make sure i'm unconcious or dead better be dead
i dunno wad will happen~
seriously man a guy acting like a long winded pussy = =

Note: Girls says tat they dun liked long winded guys

And so i decided to spice sumthings up
went and ermm kinda like comment about it in his blog
And their reaction was advicing me to eat chocolate ice-cream

ermm no thx dun feel like eating chicolate icecream after seeing tis picture~

Go eat urself bah~

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Happy Birthday!!! To brother Caleb And daughter Shu Ting~!!

Brother Lebz

Happy 17th birthday !!! xD
Older by one year again!!
Take good care of your body o~

Daughter Shuu = =
old lady~ happy birthday~ o
And enjoy urself on your birthday bah

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Yes i'm am the one

Came back from a tiring day of exam and tuition
by the i locked the car walk into the house
my bro was running at me full wif joy and luaghter
to tell me tat the comfirmation letter of me going to Ns is here
which means his wans me bald and send away.
no surprise though~ i would to if it was him~

Which means i'll hav to get my pradon from the principle
and so i'll nid to go wif meg gie and kok wing
which meg gie hardly even come to skul recently
and kok wing wans to settle it ASAP
so i was also lazy to wait fr her as ermm dun really care about her stuff anymore
And so we went together to get the thing done which cost us our recess

going into the chemistry exam unprepared
to my delight the paper was a easy pull off~
so after the paper boring as usual while the rest will be ding their best in it
and i would be day dreaming on my table
thinkin of wad would happen when i'll be send to tawau ==
issac used to said tat there's nth to do ther
eat, sleep, shit, get a sun burn and juz show off ur muscle wif friends
and tat should be all for Ns.
i was sumhow expecting ther would be abit more fun installed

So if i'm not wrong i would be send ther by next year
during my holiday which means 3 months holiday gone ==
wasted wei~


Monday, May 18, 2009

Don't Say That You are LAZY!!!!!

This exam really woke me up sumhow
to notice tat how much i suck
while doing the paper i kept asking myself the same questions
here it goes~:
ei why u're not doin the questions?
dunno how to do la~
Den how? why dunno do de?
dint study mah~
Why dint study?
been gamiing too much and too lazy
See lazy is ur problem,by keeping ur present standard ur no match for him
ya i know.. big gap la
So? tak boleh ka?
susah lor~ tapi kalau saya boleh belajar banyak sikit..
Nah see~ tat is wad u nid!!
but how la i lazy no easy way ke?
easy way arh? got~ walk out that door and say ur prayers b4 jumpin down from the 3 floor
yee wan meh no fun
Fun FUN FUN!!! Is tat all u think ka?
kinda.. why so serious?
My future leh not serious arh?
ermm ya hor..
zzz anyhow juz shut up and finish the paper la lame ass
ok lor~

Somehow by thinking back i find it pretty lame of me to be talking to myself
even though i dint do it out loud was in the mind la
anyway if i wan to talk to sumone there is ah siok behind of me which is always free~
Anyhow i suck real hard to core
i really nid to change my laziness in order to pwn tat dude
so conclusion

DoNt Say U ArE LaZy

BcOz U are CraZy!!!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

The party night~

Tonite was the party night yet i dint go~
of coz i hav to put god 1st~
really wish it was on a saturday then i could had join them~
anyhow i think its the largest event for tis year..mayb?
coz they stacked 3 person's birthday together~
The last i had ever been to a party like tis was last year july~
was fun~ but sum how after tat party friendships dint last.
juz start seeing things change to a whole new direction
which ermm i dint like it~
Hope there would be another event like tis~ i mean for tis year la~
And hope tat after tis friendship would still be in tact~
Planning on where to go tis holiday in june~
planning la~ xD
most of all muz be able to go out wif her~
And FUTSAL!!!!
And i'm looking forward to the camp~
I wanna make my last year in skul the best year!!!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


The weather is getting hot recently
but surprisingly the wind has been coming very often~
ther is always tis feeling when the wind always come~
usually it onli comes when exams are closing in~
true though exams are near xD
As usual the wind oso brought a message.
this time was about the ppl around me.
Showing me wad they were really made of and
getting a clearer scope of the way things flow~
and the best of all a reflection of myself
seeing the wrong how wrong i was
as i was dancing too slow for the music.
trying to chill and flow wif the wind~
And catch up wif everyone
let the past be past~
Tat was the lesson's title~
but can i do tat?
Hope i can rather sitting here look at the lost fragments of despair and hatred

I muz run faster~!!!
Faster than the Blazing fire tat nvr stops.
(probably tats why the weather is so hot = =)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Crawl-Velt Punch
I sum how like tis song's MV~
damn yeng

Advancing by crawling along the earth is
Just the ordinary climb all over again
Even with my destiny carved out for me, I just take a deep breath
I knew it wasn't enough
The days felt as if they were going to be destroyed by the thunderous roar
The needle-like rain stopped and you arrived.

Sha la la I sing for you
Sha la la

A dulled eternity is the "symbol of boredom", meaningless
Like a pool made at the bottom of the sea
Painting swirls on the water's surface,
The too-high sky is reflected upon it
If you're joking make it that I understand

Sha la la I sing for you
Sha la la fight for myself
Sha la la I sing for you
Sha la la

I can't take this "boredom" anymore.
Standing still on the stage, the courage to fight back
I don't care, I don't care
I wonder if you'll smile even without an "existence"...
At the pace of when you just start running
The scenery that flew by
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care
Are you going to find out what is really right or wrong?

Finally at the goal you've struggled up to, the truth known for the first time
I don't care, I don't care
I wonder if you'll realize it tomorrow...
Even the distorted air ripped off of March
I don't care, I don't care
Going up the 13 steps
They'll be waiting for your hands
If we make a new start after the today that we came to know pain
I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there

The murmured regrets are clinging to your hand
Is that sharpened blade being swung for the sake of someone else?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Cant help but think..

Ever since i've learnt how to drive although things should be closer to me as i should be able to reach by myself..
but there is a even large distance between friends.
Is it my fault?
do think mayb yes though..
bcoz of my stubornness and rude attitude i guess..
Or is it the problem of me putting a mask on?

Today while driving the sky started to get dark and it start to drizzle
i cant stop thinking about the days during ipoh..
how i walk in the rain, knowing tat was my bitter past.
yet it help to made me the Me i am today..

during class today while waiting for the teacher to enter the bio class.
I sat alone today not tat i dun get along wif ppl, juz tat the ppl i got along is missing today.
while sitting there without anyone noticing my presence; i dun wan to be a sumbody in tat area.
i over heard the conversation of the girls sitting behind me,
about sum guy cheating on a friend of her's..
which reminded me of my ex
she was sweet at 1st and i stood up for her whenever lyn and ah bo bad mouth her.
But the fact was she was really wad they said. feelin so dumb been played.
after tat case i was made slience, nvr did dare to show my true colours..
at least i try not to get emo in skul or crowded areas.
Need not ppl to know so much..

This word always strike my mind "Stand ur own ground no one is going to catch u when u fall"
trying to keep tat in mind coz i know i do sum close friends tat will be ther for me
But soon ther will be a day we'll walk our own path.
a line will be drawn on tat day..

At least would try to enjoy myself for now

drifting away~

Friday, April 24, 2009

Weekend Break from the exams~

Ok another boring day in skul~ sumhow~ was mainly bcoz the exam
i mean after the add maths exam we're basically free to jump about and to kill each others if anyone dares~
juz a little update of wad has been going on in skul~
As the story from dear friend caleb continues to remain~
which the handphone missing and going after tat small brat for he is responsible to wad happen~ sumhow i really felt like slapping tat samll fry. = =
i mean his the one in fault yet he still can say as if his not wrong at all
worst thing is tat his sister is also the same making use of caleb giving him false hope.
these type of ppl really should die..
if i can i would had kill both of them but killing both bring out the money and its no fun at all~
so i decided to make their life in skul a living hell
it'll be more fun to see their reactions.
At least they deserve it~
but seriously nth much i do to really help.
juz hate these kind of ppl. no sense of responsiblity
ermm tired ler end here~
enjoy the photos xD

the usual view in class

5B gang resting xD
ermm no nid to exaplain bah~And who said Tjf is not after other gals dun see why he should juz stick to xiao theng like glueI giv YOU ERNEST!!!!...................lee

Monday, April 20, 2009

Thinking of wads next

Woke up late today = =
next to the mid night gaming straight on not stop till 3am.
got up at 9.30am and yes i'm late for skul
a thought came into my mind
"juz skip la ur already late~ "
"but then there's an exam today leh"
"so wad?"
"ipromised her to take the exam la"
"can resit de mah~"
"but waste time lor"
"juz skip straight la~"
"NO!!! I nid to go and pei wilwil oso"
"Ish u gay ka?"
"WAd da? of coz not~ I'm going and tats it case close~ "
So tats how i found myself in skul today.
Was lucky i dint meet paulin when i enter the skul today
rather than paulin i met Pn Lee and Pn Teh
Pn Lee is ok but Pn Teh is pure annoying at times
the usual Pn Lee goes wif her lecture wif me
She sumhow i think is the best teacher in the skul xD
at least i do take most of her advice~

These few days most of the gang had been starting to plan about their future
tis really worries me for i'm not really sure bout myself
i wan to studdy biochemistry at least tats the onli thing ican say i'm good at.
And i'm ermm kinda worried about aH Ham jie which is in the ward now ><
her blood platelets count is really dropping as she is infected wif SLE
and the marks on her hands are oso getting worst..
hope she will get well~

Bed time~ Shows how lazy i am xD

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Revival time!!!

Its been really a long time probably 4 months
finally i had the nerve to revive my blog
long story short bah~
sumhow after visting my daughter's blog i felt like updating my blog too
haven really been myself ever since the whole choir thing started
and ermm sumhow i lost my cool tat day ><
sorry guys dint mean it.
have been going out wif friend quite often lately ><
muz draw a line soon, yeah i know tat..
looking forward to see how tis year's class photo will come out to be
after all i did manage to butt my head in to 4 class photos
got injured during the process though~
but it was fun having to go hyper wif the gang
We lost the choir contest but at least we won back our hearts
we dint not let wilson's hardwork go to waste..
well the next thing waiting at my doorstep is the exam
i hate it but i sumhow nid though
nid bursh up myself.
I know its not gonna be a easy year for me..
2009 year of farewells
Lyn NOOB!!!!
Group photo after the choir contest we lost though
The gals from my class~ 5B class plus ermm alot of us from different classes xD