7th October 2011 Melt!

if i were to say I'm very busy recently i would be lying,
if i were to say I'm damn free its also another lie bah~
its been kinda tiring for me lately, was busy with the long report which requires my groups to write about 2k words de report. The training that i have with Edwin to prepare ourselves for the 21km run this 15th October and the Business team for our event..
ain't a walk in a park huh? what to i expect wei~ if it was that easy then this world would start to lose its colors~

The 21km run I'm really looking forward to it! its another journey to conquer myself,
it really isn't much of a achievement compared to other, i realize how pathetic i am for all my achievement in the past are like filthy rags compare to others, like Dorcas and Matthew both of the are just to awesome =3=
at least they achieve something worth bragging about yet they dun really brag about it, yet i myself achieved nothing but shit in my high school, therefore I'm trying to chase up if possible step by step bah.

About a week ago i had this really sharp pain on my right chest, as though there's a pole stuck right through my chest, the 1st day i was still quite ok, trying my best to act normally, despite the pain. the 2nd day was as though there was this giant invisible clamp clamping my right chest! the pain was so painful i couldn't even walk properly and i was having breathing difficulties, i really struggle even to get to college and at times the thought "is this the end of the line for me?" crossed my mind. i cant possibly tell my parents about this coz they'll blame my work and this event for it, so I'll just have to deal with it, The worst thing was that day i had a meeting with crew! and yes she was there! i cant possibly show her the weaken side of me bah! i was trying my very best to act the way i normally do during a meeting and coughing at the most minimum. ugh~ after that i was feeling quite ok after a few days~ was feeling even better after a 11km run with Edwin~ damn tat really hit the spot~ though the it was very painful when i run and a few times i nearly crashed into the road but i managed to pull through! thank God!

The business team is really tiring waiting and waiting and going hunting almost 2 times a week, having to send mails and make calls, well i asked for it~ haha dun worry I'm having fun keeping myself busy as i must do my best to help this event! OSU!

Right after meeting today, i had dinner with Sam, Simon and Raymond~ we went to ampang Korean town~ the food was awesome~ the price still considerable la~ went and bought myself a packet of melons sweets~ which are very awesome too mind you I'm very crazy about melon favoured food!~ one thing i find it every funny is that almost the whole swc knows that I'm chasing her, damn where do they get their info from? though i cant blame them almost anyone who talk to wesha about me would know it bah =3= ugh though Raymond and Sam can really keep it to themselves~ i don't mind but then its her that cause me to mind bah! coz from my point of view is that "i like this special someone and I'm not afraid to let the world know it!" but for her it maybe that "Damn this loser likes me and if the world were to know about it who knows what it'll do to my reputation?" haha~ they were drank soju while as who i am i dun drink at all~ yes boring guy but hey! i dun care its in my policy that i dun drink despite the condition and situation~ mind u have damn lot of funny policy which i will not break under any circumstances. haha~ maybe that's one of the thing that make me a boring guy mah? ugh~ i believe the world has alot more things to do other than drinking, smoking, clubbing and blah blah~ to get drunk is a way of escaping the truth for just that  few hours and you'll be facing it again after that so whats the point? though i know that most of my friends drink for fun~ but hey! i can be fun even without drinking~ haha~ anyway the Korean restaurant  was nice~ maybe I'll bring her there one day? will continue to dream about it until the chance come bah...

Actually i wanted to ask her to join us for dinner de, but then before i could end my meeting with the juniors and business team, she went home with lemon, and yes got teased by Raymond and lemon =3= ugh~ as if she doesn't understand pulak~ haha~ anyway the chance just slip pass me again haiz~ wait for another chance bah~

Right after dinner on our way back to college after sending Simon home~ while i drove near the hostel gate to drop Sam and Raymond~ hor hor!!! something really unexpected happened! a wira suddenly came from behind and park right in fornt of my car~ and the back door of the wira opened! and a head suddenly popped out! At 1st i thought it was her! but den i thought nahhh impossible la i must be thinking of her too much~ i asked Sam and Raymond again who was it? Sam and Raymond confirm it was her! i literally jumped out of my seat! she was smiling and waving! SOOO CUTEEEE!!!! my goodness my heart instantly melted on the spot~ though i wasn't sure at all who she was smiling at, as u know my eyesight aren't as good as they used to be. most probably she was smiling to Sam bah~ but dun care la! its like for the 1st time she acknowledge my existence after everything that happened bah? during meetings she'll usually be doing her stuff on her lappy and smiling at some point in front of her lappy  which makes me very curious what she's reading or watching~ and she'll try her utters most best to not look my way despite me talking the loudest~ its understandable though why she's doing it la~ but it hurts it really hurts. But for awhile just now! its as if she acknowledge my existence! lol! i really sound stupid, really stupid! but i cant help it bah~ i really felt that way~ and for the whole journey back home i cant stop myself from smiling wei! overkill! really melted~ haha~ this will be the fuel to keep me going to do my best bah! it was really really unexpected and it really made my day~ haha~

really wanna tell her hwo i feel about her~ but ermm she doesn't like chessy messages bah~ so might as well drop it bah~ haha~

26th September 2011 Oh time~

I've started college~ as usually everyone slacking coz its the 1st week~ though i told myself not to slack this sem and should pick up as much as possible~
in this sem i have 6 subjects while she have about 4 subjects including one full partical~ jia you bah! would help in anyway i can!
this week was kinda different from the previous college weeks i had~ had a squash session with wendi and her on Monday~ though i dint really played with her but got to see and talked a bit, seriously just a bit only~ but was good enough to make my day :P

Monday:

 Have to stand strong for the coming year, for there will be no more breaks for me.

When i saw her on Monday she dint tie her hair, was let down very neat and looks very straight~ she dye-ed her hair merun red~ haha~ dint know whether is it a coincident that i actually was planning to dye that color too~ soon la~ but since she did, mayb i'll go for copper red as dorcas suggested bah~ anyway she was dressed in her common clothes bah~ a slightly less fitting shirt, shorts and her nikes shoes~ doesn't look very sports wear though but i guess its just her style bah~ that's one of the things i like about her,very simple yet so pretty~ anyway she's not very into sports de type lai de~ while that day i was dressed up like a cow =3= with my black and white pants and shirt~ and i wore a hairband... ugh sarky! but i did coz was playing squash bah.. anyway i got nothing to hide la i think~ after squash i went straight for swimming~ though i thought could have lunch with them de but they ate 1st b4 they replied me so its ok bah~ my bad for not asking them directly~ could be kinda awkward though~ haha~was very worried whether she had an umbrella with her or not though, coz the weather this month was kinda rainy and hot at times! for me i'm ok coz i got the solution how to deal with this kinda weather so it doesn't really affect me but as for them this weather can really bring sickness and illness. now if she would to get sick that would be bad right? haha~ anyway they had an umbrella bah~ later in the evening went jogging with edwin, we jogged 3km in the gym and about 8 km outside the gym, still unable to reach our targetted speed yet!

Tuesday:

 Gotta keep on running and keep on training until i reach that speed

had a meeting with the thriller crew! though I'm the only SOT guy there and yes she wasn't there~ at 1st i thought she settled everything and ciao dy coz i went in late due to my classes~ had a meeting and brief the juniors wad to do, though i myself am not very sure of what I'm doing at times but I'm trying to get them to have an idea of what we'll dealing with and what to expect. i told them that " the business team is the bone of the event, we're important and if we dun do our job properly, others cant do their jobs properly too! but as the bone of the event people will onli see the flesh, so be prepared too be invisible and dun complain." coz alot of people have the wrong idea of getting popular by being in the business team~ yes catchy name but we really need to get the job done de! bah mayb its because i'm the type that doesn't really stand out so this job is kinda perfect for me la~ haha~ i dun mind the credit being given to others, as long as they dun step on my tail~ After that eveline, wesha and I went to pavilion to chill~ ate snowflake, mochi and macaron! the peach mochi was very AWESOME! wonder whether she likes it or not? hmm~ mayb one day i da bao for her bah~ around 3pm had a meeting with the SAD members! wow the bullets flew all at sam and me, we tried our best to block most of them! event was approved but just need to change the name only! haha~
the SAD members kept telling us about ghost and spirits ugh! as if i believe? i only just listen only la~ i cant be bothered about these things coz I've know the truth behind all of these~ so why bother? haha~
THAT NIGHT! SHE FB PM-ED ME!!!!!! i jumped out from my seat, shocked! she wanted to ask about the cupcakes we saw in desa park city, i offered her a ride! and yes she said YES!!!! i went to sleep happily that night~ :P there were a few point of view about this situation. but i dint really bother bah. i jus happy she said yes! haha~

Wednesday:

I went out with raymond, wesha and Sam to meet up with chun kit, and jonny~ we went its all because wesha wanted to tried the gongcha! haha~ wonder whether did "she" tried gongcha b4? if i have the chance maybe i could bring her here to try? but after thinking the gardens is so near her house la! dunno la IF is a good word! haha~ Was seriously laughing all the way to the gardens and back la~ really fun to hang out with these guys~ :D had gongcha oso~ though they kept giving me their left over milk green tea to drink until i was so full! haha~ nice though~ while going out with them i really wish she was with us.. maybe its because we dint invite her? we did try to call her a few times, bah dint pick up neither did she sms to ask wads up... cant be  help bah aku face problem haha~

Thursday:
The faithful day arrives! Its the day where i'm suppose to go to desa park city with her~ ironic isn't it? the 1st time i went out alone with her was to desa park city~ haha~ she might not remember it but its important tome at least. Anyway the 1st thing in the morning i asked her where to meet~ and to my surprised wendi was coming along too~ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no longer just us alone dy like this~ haha~ understandable la~ but its good oso la~ i scared i jammed and there is a silent period jiu not good lor, at least with wendi she wont feel so awkward oso bah i think? and i have the chance to understand the conversation she's interested in or the type of conversation that can interest her~

I brought them to kepong McD for lunch~ though i wanted to bring them to other place but then the nice dining areas dun open until 6pm so i wasn't given much choice.. de pastry was one of the choice but then they dint wan to eat so no point bringing them there, it'll show them tat I'm the rich type and always eat expensive areas which i am seriously not rich at all. bah just a precaution only la~ when we reach McD i was still very quiet i dint know how to blend in seriously... my mind was overheating trying to figure out sumthing to say and a topic to talk bah... panic-ed gao gao! i should had treated them to the french fries but!!!! ZZZZ lost the chance =3= and on my way up the stairs hor hor! my steady brother appeared in front of me! LYN LYN APPEARED!!!! DAMN I WAS SO HAPPY I SAW HIM THERE! AT LEAST HE COULD GIVE ME SOME POINTERS!!! and yes he did! damn i was just so happy at least sumone i knew was there to help me un-panic~

After tat we went to desa park city~ ugh tat period was the best i think? i was very focus on the business stuff so act freaking smooth wei! lol though i notice most of the time when I'm talking to her face to face, i was daydreaming =3= she just look SO CUTE!!! and her eyes were so captivating, my mind really went blank literally... her hair was literally glowing under the sun looks nice on her, though she has little bit of pimple on he forehead but she's still so cute! just completely blew me away~ after that i notice i was unusually quiet again =3= sad i just dunno why so diam... ugh! i'll really need to slap myself hard if this happens again.

On the way back to college was the worst was REALLY REALLY DISAPPOINTED OF MYSELF!!! there was a few minutes of silence in the car, was guessing wendi was also tired bah... i had no choice but to use the last resort i prepared for safety measures, was to use the music. I prepared a number of songs that she likes~ wasn't easy though =3= spent almost the whole Tuesday and Wednesday night to come out withthe list.yes i was very desperate to kill the silent in the car. i drove as fast as i could to shorter the silent period, though i usually dun drive like this and was speeding at sum parts... haiz fail la aku.. i'm sure she wont be happy to know it too? coz i wasn't acting like myself which she doesn't like i think...

Was really really really disappointed with myself la, so hard baru i dapat this chance again... den i acted like this pulak haiz~ and there were a few times i knew she was trying her best to break the ice too.. she asked about my results too~ ARGHGHGGHGH NOOB LA YOU ERNEST!!! i wrote on facebook
"facepalm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and it triggered a

just dont show f.face to me, and behave yourself as you should, and you knw. i believe.

Ouch dei! seriously ouch!!!! though i think i really deserve it de lor... for being such an asshole! Later that night, after i slept and woke up, she posted saying she wants to cry and sum other thing in Japanese which i dint really understand.. i quickly pm-ed and her called her! lol to my amaze she answered for the 1st time this few months! coz previously i tried to call her but no answer~ but i think she picked up is because she forget to turn it in silent mode bah~ good for me though! haha~ but she said she was ok la, i seriously doubt it.. she dint really wan to share it so i'm guessing its sumthing very private? bah bah~ anyway there's her crush de things to consider oso... i dint really want to think about it, coz to know that she has a crush was a huge blow to me dy and if i were to think more I'm heading back to my emo state which i dun wan to! but there's just how i left things so far bah... would really like to help her in the F&B side, and the only way i can help to relax abit is to find more sponsors so that she can have a bigger budget, so less work for her!
So i must do my best to hunt sponsors, for her sake and the event sake bah..

Friday

was just another normal Friday bah~ though i went for swim with Edwin in the morning :D, though i know she'll be going to the Arthur's day thingy~ hope she had fun bah~

Saturday
Went sponsor hunting with sam and wesha, went alot of places and alot costumes to see wei~ most of them looks very simple and can be handmade seriously! met 2 SAD officers too~ they were looking for costumes for the mid Autumn festival~ haha~ once again had a awesome day out with them la~ so brother la! and i dicovered a pet known as marimo ball which looks very simple yet nice leh! its basically a ball of algea but looks nice leh~ and not cheap oso coz its rare rm60 for about 7cm radius =3= ouch nyeh!

As thing are looking, as usual just give it my all bah, i running out of time.. will have to push myself through the break through point, until that day comes i'll just have to proceed with the things i'm facing now, just dun regret for not doing anything.. RUN! haha~ ironic isn't i told my friend to stop running and here i am trying to take on the world alone.. bah~ i dun have time anymore... wil just have to DEAL with it! OSU!

17th September 2011 Gunung Datuk!

Its almost the end of my sem break though can consider the end dy bah~
finished up almost everything i wanted to do dy~

Recently i went hiking with Edwin and bor lih~
We climbed Gunung Datuk which is located at seremban near rembau~
had a very awesome trip seriously~ i really enjoyed myself~
the sense of adventure was really there :D

On the 14th september, evening i went to edwin's place to over night, coz we plan to move out around 5am in the morning~ so must wake up around 4am~ had an awesome night at his place~ went out iwth him and lee jin to sunway~ both of them stay at klang wei~ haha~ went to sunway pyramid wanted to try out the famous chatime dorcas told me so much about~ and yes tried it~ ermm its nice la but not addictive to me~  wanted to meet up with dorcas at sunway de coz her class ends about 9.30pm that night~ but i left the place early for CC session with the doods so dint meet up with her bah~ haha~

we spend 2 hours plus gaming~ haha~ all of us so rusty dy we even lose to the Ai wei~
anyhow after that we went back and prepare for the trip~ got the cordinates for my gps to lead the way~
and pack up everything~ we rest about 2am but thx to the chatime it kept us awake almost the whole night~
woke up at 4am to bath and we went to McD to da bao breakfast~ i taste great in the car while edwin was showing off his driving skills :P tried to consume coffee for a change~ i added 4 packets of creamer and 3 packets of sugar but the taste still sucks to me =3= damn mayb coffee and i really cant get along bah~ i tried to love it but my love failed~ mayb i wasn't drinking it right?

we pick bor lih up around 5am and we were on our way~ stop at another McD for bor lih to get his breakfast~
And after we continue our journey~ to find that the gps cordinates that i've found online turns out to be fake =3= hor we were in deep deep shit tat time could say we were lost in sumwher between kl and seremban~
but thx to the technology of iphone 4~ we found a new route and took us about 3 hours drive b4 we reach the mountain foot~ damn we were so excited~ 3 of us prepared lolipop to suck our way up! :D
as we began our journey up the mountain~ the mountain route was so steep about 65 degrees wei~
and the leeches were so aggressive as if they saw 3 walking buffets wei~

half way up both me and edwin were at our limit mayb due to the lolipop and the altitude~ there were times i feel like turning back but we dint la we just push on! after awhile we were alright and charging upwards~ haha~ took us about 2hours to reach the peak~ the peak was seriously awesome its so spacous can fit about 30 ppl to camp~ and the other side for side seeing was fantastic! though abit dangerous but we cant be bothered at all~ we were too happy and were taking pictures for about 1 hours~ we finished our drinks and started to head downwards~

As we climb up the same road we took to the foot of the hill~ scary wei~ coz very steep and the leeches are jus too aggressive~ they got bor lih~ suck him up nicely though he dint really care but for me~ ugh i jus dun wanna try it :D~ took us about 1 hour to reach the foot of the hill~ coz we dint stop at all~ to come down was not tiring jus straining onli~

All in all its very interesting trip the best thing is there were to one other than us~ so the adventuring feel was really there~ :D

there's suppose to be more photo but its with edwin~ i'll upload it when i have bah~ ciaosu!

10th September 2011 Hazy

v3 [DIFF] [EDIT]

What is it that I left behind
Just before I started dreaming?
Though I don’t want to forget,
Sometimes, suddenly, in a corner of my memories,
A gently blurred sepia color floats up.
On the other side of these days in front of my eyes, little by little, it moves further away.

Why am I running
Until I’m out of breath, anyway?

So afraid of standing in place that I sped up,
I felt my quickening heartbeat to make sure that I’m really here.
If you listen carefully for that little voice deep inside your heart,
The world that surrounds you will clear up and spread to tomorrow.

Drawing closer, then going a little further away,
Waving to the people I’ve met,
I become honest on this road I feel I’ve traveled before.
Laughing faces and crying faces -
Look, if you add them together, it’s lovely.
There are always unchanging things within yourself.

As the sun shines on your face after you cried,
Are you gradually learning love?
Let’s focus our eyes on the future
That was unclear and so far away.

When the wind sweeps over my cheeks and sings its song around my ears,
I take it into my strongly resounding heartbeat and move closer to the sky.
I’m carried by a light bounce in my step,
And I continue to a story no one has seen yet.

9th September 2011 Stone heart

its been awhile again~ haha~
everything is somehow fine i guess?
There hasn't been anything happening particularly?
or is it that i lost my senses to realize what's happening?
I've realise I've slowly starting to become a stone heart..
heartless? its more like there's alot of things i can't find myself to bother about anymore....
 bah bah~ as for things i wanted to do, most of them had been completed~
but somehow i still kinda empty inside...

recently i dunno there's just a feeling that I'm back to solitary life style.
most of my friends cant really be bothered about me, yes i'm starting to sound like a girl
but pfft~ who cares~ its not like u're really hearing me say this up front~ bah~
somehow during this holiday even though there were a few outings but i still feel empty and dead.
dunno why... mayb its bcoz i sprain my ankle and am unable to go jogging for awhile or is it bcoz i haven been swimming lately? haha~ excuses i guess~ its all cooking in my mind~ will have to stay strong and just chiong!
but even though i say nak chiong... i no longer can hear that roaring heart neither do i feel my boiling blood anymore... mayb its bcoz i haven been able to see her for quite sometime dy?

bah bah~ as for her~
the feeling its still there, she seems to be fine though I'm seeing this thru facebook~
probably just that i no longer feel connected to her even though we don't talk or message each other..
but the things she post seems that she has a "crush" bah~ at least that's where it lead me to la~
during these times i know i should feel crushed and down but somehow I'm just fine...
bah am i starting to be immune to pain? or have i started to grow numb to it?
i need answers, i need solutions, i need help....
very unmanly to call for help bah..
at least that's what dorcas told me, she said girls like guys that can take care of them?
and she gave me a few examples of guys being very sissy, most of the gave me a critcal hit.
knowing that I'll try to stop posting things on FB and twitter from now on bah..
it only show how childish i am..


ARGH SCREW IT LA!!! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND I'm REALLY STARTING TO LOSE MYSELF... but yet why am i still so calm and so.....heartless?

29th August 2011 Till that moment comes

You turned your back at me and walked away
without saying a single word…
In my wavering heart, I screamed like a child
“Don’t go…don’t leave…hey…”

I turned my back at you and walked away,
I have to leave this place before I start to cry.
It was a lie when I said I hated happiness.
I acted tough and let go of my ideal future…
I can’t take my wish back…

I feel this small room has gotten wider
expanding the scar in my heart.
And even a minute or a second seem longer…

If only I could spend it with you…

Does this world not even allow me to have a wish?
Even a single lie
will give birth to your tears…
I have sinned so much that I can’t keep track...

When I pick up a bit of the present, I feel like I throw a bit of the past.
But I’m sure the me who laid in
the infinite memories and time
will surely disappear from your memories…

Can’t we go back to how it used to be?
Is this the beginning…or the end?

The nights where I sleep in this wide bed won’t end,
I simply dream…alone
I dream of a dream following your memories.
But I have sinned so much that I can’t keep track...

If I can compensate by experiencing this pain from loneliness,
then please keep me in your memories.

It’ll be great if we can meet again with these immutable feelings.
but until that time comes,
“See you later”

27th August 2011 5th milestone

After 15 days of pouring effort into my studies for my finals and disconnecting from facebook and blogging~
everything has finally ended~
And now sem break~ :D
its a break from all the studies but i still have my own duties and responsibilities to handle~
alot of my frined kept asking me to on my Fb but then i thought ugh why? and since i made a promise to seal my FB acc. i better keep to my word bah. and i don't wan to be the type of person that can say but cannot do, but rather i wan to be the type tat am true to my word just like my father. And is best i don't go back on my words bah, it usually ends up as a back fire de.

honestly these 15 days wasn't a walk in a park for me, mayb its just because i haven really poured so much effort into my exams before. almost everyday i sleep at 1am den wake up at 5 am just to study, i was reaching a point where i really hate sleeping because its a waste of time but yet my body needs it which i cant help it. everyday i was screaming for more time...
was kinda going crazy, i dont know why i'm so serious about my exams this sem..
i told myself:

if i have time to set my hair;
i rather use it to study.
if i have time to facebook;
i rather use it to study.
if i have time to blog;
i rather use it to study.
if i have time to go rest;
i rather use it to study.
if i have time to think about her;
i must use it to study.

though the last one i failed quite a few times...
alot of times unconsciously i was thinking about her...
and hmmm i wanted to wish her all the best for her finals, i was having a hard time deciding whether to call her or to text her? coz i cant use facebook due to promise i made to myself to seal my facebook until i finish my finals so finding her on fb was out of the question. in the end i decide to call her coz i was afraid she might not get the message =3=

while i was calling, i feeling was kinda nervous coz its been awhile since i talk to her on the phone, to my horror it dint get through... and then i decided to text her as a last resort, but then the message dint get through judging from since there was no message received report. i tried 2 days but nth got through. until i had no choice but to ask wesha what happen bah. i'm guessing she changed her handphone number, coz its very inconvenient for a college student to off their phone for more than one day bah. jus guessing but i don't wanna jump to conclusions~ and she's not the type that will simply or randomly change her number de bah..

and on Thursday after my exam while walking to my car and i was taking off my specs, she walk pass just like a breeze.. by the time i noticed it was her, it was already too late~ she walked off, at that point i was asking myself whether or not i should chase her that time but then i thought even if i did chase her what am i expecting? bah though sometimes chasing her mayb good though. but that day something was abit off about her, kinda felt it i guess. dunno mayb i was just thinking too much bah~ mayb i should had just chased her and ask her tat day bah? haha~

anyway since i'm free from all my finals mayb i'll start finding her on FB bah?
haha~

and since my holiday is here~ so far here's the list of things i wanna do~:

1. complete my kingdom key
2. try the matcha swiss roll recipe
3. try the chills molten chocolate cake recipe
   
4. register for the 21km run
5. find at least 2 sponsors for the coming hollow night event
   
6. try laser tag
7. purchase a hand drill a.k.a carving pen
8. purchase and study about the 3x3x3 LED system
9. find a job for my internship.
10. buy a takoyaki pan and try cooking takoyaki
    

optional:-

1. go sungkai hot springs
   
2. ask her out if possible
3. go rafting at kampah.

And thats about all~ By the Way this is the 100th Post~ haha~

12 August 2011 Liberi Fatali

Had been spending most of my time studying for this week,
though there's a saying " don't mistake activities for achievement~!"
So i'll still need to pour my heart into revisions.

I took a break from my studies this wednesday and attended the screening day for the broadcasting students and yes she'll be too la of coz. bah just have to be extra careful not to do make stupid mistakes bah, though the question goes like this

Q: what examples of stupid mistakes? u see her den say hi la duh?
A: Err ya gua, just keep in eye la coz i'm blind when i'm in the dark without my glasses so if she happened to say hi 1st I MUST REPLY or not there'll be another misunderstanding which is very very very very bad!

So on wednesday, elaine told me to be there by 1pm while wendi told me to be there by 2pm, hmmm i followed elaine coz she's the one that i help out so thought mayb she need me to be there abit early or what la. haha~ in the end, i reach there by 1pm to be told to wait til 2pm, which i spend reading notez in my car. Anyway i was really glad i attended it, learned alot seriously. was abit shocked to see how elaine's video turn out. haha was really top notched, partly of my poor acting skills bah.. anyhow was really amazed how they did it so well~ there were a few that i mark them as high potential, especially Pork's MV wao~ blew me away wei~ haha~ i dint know he was such an awesome guy~ "her" video wasn't bad oso quite nice~ wendi's MV was oso breathe taking~ And Derick's movie trailer was the best trailer i would say~ its a comedy compared to the others which are suspense and horror. the rest wasn't bad oso la but these few really stand out lor~ editing and shooting these video aint easy u know? u'll need to try to shoot one there you'll know how hard it is to produce a very very very good one.

I was abit shocked to see ann chuan and xander in broadcasting wei~ i thought both of them different course~ anyway both of them did an awesome job oso~ pro sia~ haha~ though i thought a few groups could do better la, but who am i to judge ppl =3= i'm just a nobody flowing with the flow~Anyway one of the most important thing i learn was seriously nothing is impossible, its the determination that changes the outcome.

After the screening sessions ended, while i was standing behind and chatting with eveline and john, there "she" was haha~ though i told to chance to talk to her abit~ haha really made my day :DDDD though i forgot to wish her all the best in her finals.. but hey i guess i'll just do it when her finals comes closer bah. anyway i think yes i can do it, i can bury my feeling for her for now. haha~ it'll be the path i'll have to walk bah~

though after all this, elaine belanja me and chin yee to pizza hut~ had a awesome meal while chatting with them, was seriously hypered mayb coz too happy dy~ :D when i reach home, dad asked me to go out with him to buy things, i was so happy i dint think of the word " No " at all~ haha~ and after buying all the things, when we're about to leave for home, bah my car cant start =3= sien~ but i was still very hyper so macam no feel haha~ Ah yoon came and fixed it up for me though~ haha~

This will be the last post before the finals. i'll really have to focus and put aside everything. Other than her, this sentence "A little insight wont make this right!" has been floating in my mind lately, hmm wonder why... haha~ btw don't mind the title this time its just a song i've heard very long ago which suddenly came back to me~ haha~ anyway guys should know this song bah since it was u guys that intro-ed it to me de =)

PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH TO CRUSH THE FINALS!!!

8th August 2011 Memory lane

this isn't their campus i jus took it because the way the clouds looks so weird, more liek their mist rather than clouds

My long lost sistar chong jia wei~ haha~

My long lost brother Ng Wen Bin~ haha~

monoct and me~

while goofing around in their lecturing hall~ haha~ monoct, me and wen bin~

my beloved ah mah~

Had trip back to Ipoh, it start around 7am in the morning though i slept through the whole journey. though was woked up when my bro got stopped by the police =3=

anyhow had breakfast at ah mah's house~ really missed her, as usual her cooking was awesome! haha~ learned something from her today too~ haha~ really love her for all the things she's taught me.

after breakfast, my bro send me to UTAR in Kampar to lepak with wen bin, monoct and xiao wei~ haha~ wen bin and xiao wei are my long lost brother and sistar! i've lost contact with them ever since 2005, and since last time we dint have handphones neither did we have emails yet. though i wrote letters back to them but somehow there was no reply and slowly i stop writing.
but anyway to be able to meet up with them today was one of my happiest moments!

Wen bin has grown so tall and his so fit, though i don't a hav photo of him last time, but his jus so handsome now haha~ but his reaction is the same as last time bah very big reactions~ Xiao wei is the sistar that was born on the same year, same month and same day as me only a few hours different haha~ she've slim down mayb bcoz she've grown slightly taller bah~ haha~ And monoct! haha its been awhile since i last saw her~ she looks like she's really enjoying her campus life here~ and yes their campus looks very awesome! alot better than the KTAR and UTAR in setapak. I attended wen bin and monoct's lecture got to know wen bin's girlfriend haha she isn't as short as i thought she was though~ seems like wen bin is doing fine himself~ :D damn i really missed those time when i was still in ipoh, always doing things with wen bin and was kinda innocent bah last time, but if it wasn't because that i've came to kl i guess i've would had become just another streetrat and a rubbish of society. well everything has a price to pay bah~ haha~

though today when i was walking around UTAR with my bro while waiting for wen bin, i bump into Ah phoon honestly i was shocked! her hair wasn't blonde and honestly i like how she looks now :D looks more healthy and less lala-ed bah~ was surprise she recognized me! and she ever remember my name!!! WAO even though i din't talk to her before in camp =3= bah guess i'm popular in camp :DDDD haha~ as if la...

Overall today i sat for hours chit chatting with xiao wei and wen bin~ really got alot to catch up with btw xiao wei oso dint change much la like last time when i made her cry, hor hor BOY did she came after me! haha~ coz she told a case of a friend of hers, pushing her too much until she snapped until now~ hor hor scary sia~ so learn for today? DONT EVER PISS XIAO WEI OFF U'LL REGRET IT! haha~

honestly was really glad i was given a chance to spend time with them :D
though the nest time i wanna meet up with suk fui~ heard she's taking her form6 now~

OKAY its time for me to get serious and prove myself!!
And after all of this i promise i will set things right!!

7th August 2011 鏡の国

This is KANO Yasuhiro latest work~ i can see the potential of it in jus the 1st chapter~ haha~ most of his works are about secrets how the main character has a secret that can absolutely cannot be told to anyone~ hope this time he doesn't get cancel before he could end the manga properly.

Anyway after reading this manga some how relax me~ as shown above there are some phrases that hits me directly like an arrow~ haha especially the part where he tells himself how he has carefully told the chance and use it as a foundation to build friend relationship with satomi, and if his too careless to place high hopes on top of all this, he could end up with nothing. And not just from his mouth. even a slight rumor that ends up in satomi's ears is a big NO-NO. Unless he is absolutely positive that it will work. he will not risk ruining this unique relationship that lady luck has blessed him~ and because of that he'll have to bury his own love without hesitation.

If and only if i had thought that far just like him, to not risk the chances things may had ended differently mayb? haha~ Anyway recently i thought that even if we're together we won't have lasted bah consider how things had already turn out to be, the same would happen if we were together but mayb it'll happen a bit later but its sure to come. Anyway all i can do now is just like harisugawa, I'll just have to bury my love without hesitation. Somehow i used to think that i couldn't do it but now i think i can do it bah! Anyway since I've nearly gone berserk on the 5th august, I'm feeling quite composed and cool about things now.

anyway it's not that I'm clueless and directionless at all now, I've 2 projects listed out with the highest priority, will be updating about them more after my finals. So lets face what is at hand~ Finals!!! and wishing her all the best in her finals bah~ though i'll just text her when the time comes bah~ haha~ I shall nat make stupid mistakes anymore!