2nd July 2011 Shandy

it was on the 28th june, my beloved shandy passed away,
i thank her for her 11 years of service to my family,
she was more than juz a pet to me, she was a family member to me.
she was so small when she joined my family, my palm was able to hold her.
she have brought lots of happiness and laughter to my family.

on the 28th june 2011 morning, when i left the house she was at her usual position resting in her basket, looking at me when i walked out of the house and i gave her the usual pat on the head and i took off. i dint notice it was the last pat i was able to give her...
later that day, in the evening about 6pm my mum called me but i was having a test so i dint answer it, after the test when i said my goodbye with my friends, i called my mum and to my horror, shandy has left us..
I was lost, i dint noe what to do or what i could do, so many things happen all at once, 1st was about my love life den now my beloved shandy. for the rest of the day i wondered around as if i've lost almost everything i ever had, i had no direction and not a drop of my passion for things remained, food tasted like shit and everything was fading.

The minute i reach home, the house looks lifeless, no one came out to greet me like,
no one was next to the door sleeping, no one was calling out for me, no one was waiting at the door for me, no one was there... before this even if i reach home 1st, she was always there to greet me, waiting for me to open the door, calling for me, and even come out to check on me.
Even now, whenever i reach home 1st, i continue to see imagines of her usual positions.
inside the house she would rest under the staircase and snores, but all that is left now was her smell and tat was also slowly fading away.

i can still remember it was my job to bath almost every saturday, and because of my assignments and responsibility, i wasn't able to bath her for the last time. i usually take out for walks, to her favorite park near my house while i myself would be on the phone or juz gasping for fresh air. I wasn't able to bring her for a walk for the last time, there were times when i talk to her about the my trouble and ask her to help me make a choice usually she'll be just looking at me as thought everything was alright.

Even though we knew that her time was near, but her departure was just still too sudden for me. but at least we did not nid to make the decision to put her to sleep. but still its just so heartbreaking.. she that was always there for me suddenly gone...

on the 29th june 2011, i went to the vet where her body was, i went to see her for the last time,
i couldn't control after seeing her body lying there motionless, those eyes which were looking at me ever since 11 years ago, was closed shut, her body was cold and stiff..

Who can i talk to from now on? who would be the one that welcome me back home?
who would go for a walk with me in the park? i miss her so much... i wish i can talk to you now, there's just so many things happening now.

i keep telling myself not to cry over spill milk, but i keep thinking of her when i'm back at home,
i know it sounds stupid for a guy like me to be missing a dog, but i don't care what heartless people think of me.

the basket which she always sleeps in, its but an empty basket now...

she would always be waiting for us to return home no matte what time it was, even during raining days she would also rush out to greet us.

rest in peace shandy, your basket will always be ready for you, and there will always be a place for you in my heart.